Wednesday, 25 January 2006

Everything happens for a reason

Events in past couple of weeks have firmly reinstated my belief in the above rationale.

first, I could not score well in cat 2005 despite huge expectations of my friends and myself. Then I saw random people getting placed in good companies in the campus interviews. Sometimes I strongly believed that I (or some other fellow) was far better candidates for that job profile. Many times I almost denied the existence of God. I wondered why this was happening to me.

Then came the so much dreaded friday the 13th.... after tiring rounds of tests and interviews - there were total of 5 tests, 2 interviews and a group activity in that day (and another interview was to be conducted, but got postponed to next day) I was always unsure whether I would get through to next round. But I kept on qualifying and eventually got a job worth Rs 7.0L p.a. in British Telecom, Banglore which suited my aptitude very well. What more could I have asked for?

Just in one day all the frustration was gone... no worry that I could not get through in CAT, no dilemma whether to go for further studies or to persue a job - though this brought a careless attitude for quite a time. (hell yeah... why not?)

There should have been something serendipitious in Varadpande family's horroscope during those days. on 12'th my elder brother got through in CA finals - that too 210+190 (if you don't know how lucky is that - CA final has 2 groups I & II. Each group has 4 papers of 100 marks each. To pass the group one requires to score 40+ in each paper and 50% aggregate. If you appear for both groups together, you can offset your scores in both groups i.e. you need 50% aggregate in the 8 papers with 40+ in each.)

The next morning, on 13'th, I was just hoping that luck would strike me that day. My wingwate, Rahul Mundra adviced me to wear the "lucky" shirt and tie on that day (this tie has a 100% record - P&G, Schlums and then BT). And yes, throughout the day I had the gut-feeling - "I will make it today." I am not superstitious, but the coincidence literally rocked me.

Then came the tiring practices of ETMS and wildfire. For almost a week I slept for 3-4 hours daily (mostly in the day), missed almost all the classes. I also missed Shankar Mahadevan's show in SF while picking up bass line in erotomania. Last night practice of wildfire came out very well and we were almost sure of getting through to finals. We even chose our songlist such that better songs would be played in the finals. Then the disasters struck (very aptly described in Apro's blog). It was so disappointing, knowing that it will be difficult to play with the same team again. I just hope it would not be entirely impossible.

We did fair enough in ETMS production. The so anticipated win in Sargam had us consoled little bit. I will miss the society very much. Because of these 2 music teams, my stay in kgp got fast forward in the last 2 years.

After the wildfire finals, the disappointment rather turned into an experience - we rarely had a chance to perform on such a big stage and whenever we could have, something or other popped up in the way. (b t w Faith, Hobos and Skinny Ally were just awesome.)

In retrospcet, everything happened for a reason - I could not get a job till then, because such a better job was waiting. I did not qualify through CAT, maybe I will have another go after 2 years of this job-ex, and maybe that would be more appropriate. Wildfire prelims were disastrous - it taught us many valuable things like care to be taken to set the patches on guitar processor, need of efficient sound check, adjusting to the accoustics of a place and most importantly, accepting a defeat and aspiring for a new horizon.

Call it serendipity, call it superstition, call it faith, call it rationalisation or call it absurdity, the series of events definitely brought a more mature self out of me. For I have realized something abouth the greyness of life.... nothing is perfect nor is anything perfectly imperfect. Being rational whatver I do will always keep me satisfied, regardless of what the fate throws to me.

Espescially after Skinny ally's performance, I am very much attracted to Jazz. I hope I get along with Mohit, Apro, Mukul and Vinod again and form a band after we pass out from here. I wish...

Thursday, 12 January 2006

A story

This is the story of my friend Sumit. He was a shop-floor supervisor by profession. Despite his intelligence and skills, his lack of attitude to take initiative (the company management called it laziness) and introvert nature always elongated his promotions. Though he actually wanted to be a story-writer, he hardly tried to write one. And when tried to come up with a stroy... this is what happened.

Frequently, he had to visit the sister plant of his company. He preferred staying in hotel there than long trips from home everyday. On one such trip he finally resolved to write. Interestingly, there was another aspiring story-writer Amit in his first story. Owing to his laziness to think of anything different, Sumit tried to create the kind of atmophere around his hero exactly like what he was under. He wrapped the story in a shared jeep ride from bus stand to his Uncle's home in the village.

The ride went from places to places in the town. He met fellows, some he tried to remember, some he wished to forget. He tried various activities to keep from boredom - tried to spark a conversation with the girl sitting nearby, winked and grimaced at the child sitting in front of him, observed the old man dozing on the shoulder of his neighbor, sympathized with that neighbor, had an arguement with the driver for driving fast on the bumpy road.

Sometimes he felt the road was too long and it would take eternity to reach Nani's home. Sometimes he missed the scenes passing by, being occupied in his thoughts or in his activities. Finally he took out his diary and tried to scribble something. It wasn't long before he understood that even he could not make sense of those garbled writings. He cursed the road and the driver again.

When Sumit finished the story, his mind was ecstatic. He felt relieved after emptying his mind into words. After so long somebody had listened to his inner self and he had tried to communicate with somebody, by himself. He read the story again.... The story did not have any attractive event or a character in detail. But he knew that. It was so much peculiar - so much familiar - a kind of a deja vu.

But who will read such a platitudinous story - he thought. There was nothing special, nothing captivating, everything so languid. So how about a change... after all it was just a story.

Sumit fancied a ride - with everything perfect - everything. The road was smooth. The jeep was posh (!). The girl talked to Amit for at least few minutes. There was no driver-seat, actually he din't care to look for the driver. There was a cute child sitting in front of him, constantly looking towards him and smiling. Amit also tried to smile back. Sumit felt exalted after making Amit so happy.

Before the change, he had bred himself into his brainchild. Now he felt Amit's life was much happier than his own. He pondered over this discrepancy... his hero was not like himself anymore. He wanted to fill in the gap between the two. But how could he deprive Amit of the bliss? Wouldn't that be unfair to him?

The phone rang. Sumit was already in trance contemplating over the discrepancy. His wife had to call him again to break his thoughts. He could hardly concentrate on her regular questions. He reassured her that he was alright and it would not take long before he comes back home. Before hanging up, something flashed in his mind. He asked her about their son Rahul. After a long pause, she asked him to get some sleep and hung up abruptly. Her voice sounded plaintive.

Sumit frowned. Everything in their life had been so perfect - so smooth, there should not have been any reason for her to be sad.

Amit's trip occupied his mind again. He decided to elaborate a bit on the child in front of him. Such a cute little boy. Amit asked his name. the child blushed and ran towards his grandpa dozing off on neighbor's shoulder. Waking him up, the boy smiled at Amit. Amit asked his name again. The boy said, "Rahul" and hid his face in grandpa's coat.

Sumit felt very calm and serene.

I have decided not to write any story about my life. Sumit's story haunts me everytime I pick up my pen.

Sunday, 8 January 2006

a day of music and a night of minesweeper

My wingies have always complained about me being busy in music practices throughout the year. Today they had another chance. After waking up at 12.30, having lunch, practicing from 1-3 for the show at 5, I still managed to practice more music till late in the night. In total I spent 6-9 hours today on music, depending upon some jhandao-time being counted or not.

Nights have been very late for me, owing to my nocturnal nature. So, as usual even after coming back to my room post 1'o clock in the night, I found myself fresh enough to play wordgames on dc++. After a while, I lost tempo, and came back to something much familiar.... minesweeper.

If you have successfully wasted fair amount of time on this wonderful game, you might appreciate the serendipity of completing amateur level in 2 seconds. But there was more elation to come... after having completed intermediate in 25 some time back, today I only managed 30. And Expert - yes, again a new record - 111. I guess the day was productive enough to be written about in my first blog ;) .